Wordless Wednesday

L had his Cub Scout Crossover event last Sunday. N was ecstatic to crossover into the Tiger Den, Hubby will be his den leader. L is an official Bear. I have donned the dorky uniform and will be pack committee chair.

I'm just human

I am self conscious about my size and weight. I’m not sure why. The more weight I loose, the more self conscious I am of my body. In high school, I weighed 130 my senior year and I starved myself to get there. I remember being light headed and weak. I knew it wasn’t good. I hit college, started drinking a beer a day and quickly packed on the Freshman 15. Senior year, I met hubby, he started cooking for me and I pout on a few more pounds. We got engaged, and decided to start the Subway diet (yes, we walked to Subway once a day and split a foot long veggie on wheat, no cheese, regular mustard, with everything except jalapenos), which worked. I never weighed myself at that time, but I felt good. We then went on our honeymoon and ate like kings and the weight slipped on. A year and a half in, we decided to have a baby. The day before my emergency c-section with L, I weighed 209 pounds at my doctor appointment. I know I was pregnant, I know I was on bed rest due to the end stages of toxemia and later found out that I had HELLP syndrome, I know that 30 pounds was water weight. But that damn scale read 209!!! It took me over a year to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Remember that was not my best weight due to the previous events. I then got pregnant with N. I didn’t put on as much weight with him. I think I weighed in the upper 180’s. I never broke 190. After N, I nursed him longer and the pounds dripped off. I hit my pre-pregnancy weight quicker, but that was still 150. I wasn’t happy with who I was. I felt fat and ugly.

Fast-forward four years. Living in the ATL, over 3,000 miles from family, I was sick as a dog. My bicornuate uterus had fought me long enough and it was winning. I had SEVERE menstrual cramps that couldn’t be controlled by any pill. I wasn’t a candidate for ablation or an IUD. I saw doctors who told me that I was imagining it. I saw doctors that told me I had GI issues. Finally I found a doctor that listened to me, saw that I had a poor quality of life and made a change for me. That doctor ignored my age (30), and performed a partial hysterectomy. The minute the doctor agreed to the surgery, I started walking to get into shape for the big day. I would pull the boys (a combined weight of 85+ pounds) every day after preschool in the wagon. I told them that if momma got into shape before the surgery, my recovery would be quicker. I was right. The doctor performed my surgery the day before Thanksgiving. By the beginning of February, I started running. I fell head over heels in love! Those last 15-20 pounds came off quickly. I felt good. I looked good. I found that elusive runner’s high. I haven’t stopped running.

My current weight varies between 133-135. I wear a size 6, sometimes a size 4. I am now half the size of my pre-surgery self. I am strong and healthy. I could lose 10 more pounds. I still have flab; I still have love handles. I have stretch marks and loose skin up the wazzu! I am even more self-conscious today than I was two years ago when I started running. Why? I look the best I have EVER looked. Maybe it is my age? Maybe it is the loose skin?  I should wear my stretch marks and loose skin as a badge of honor. They are battle wounds of the war that I fought and won. I don’t. I hate that I don’t.

Yesterday I saw a picture of Anne Hathaway. The online magazine was bragging, “See Anne Hathaway’s Skinny Bikini Body”. The short article wrote about how she is eating 500 calories a day and exercising 2 hours a day. I know that this is extremely unhealthy and she is hurting her body but when I looked at the picture, I smiled. She has cellulite. I am glad. She’s human just like me! If she is eating that little and working out that much and she looks like that, I can be proud of me as I am and for who I am!

I’m working on it. After all, I’m just human!

Stay At Home Mother Runner Ramblings

Last Sunday, (has it been THAT long??) I woke up before my alarm to go for a run. I was so excited to finally lace up my asics and hit the pavement. My legs were heavy, my lungs felt like deflated balloons, it was an EPIC run! That run kicked my butt, it felt so good to be out there sweating. I left my iPod and my Garmin at home. I let the birds be my music and the sun be my Garmin. It felt so good! Monday, I put the boys on the bus and went for a walk. I had to run across the street to avoid cars and I found myself exhilarated. It felt so good to pump my legs that I continued for the remaining 2.5 miles of my walk. I am so glad that I listened to my body and changed that walk to a run because L came home from school that day with a headache and a fever. Oh Snap! My week’s running plans were just flushed down the toilet with another sick kid. By Wednesday morning, he was so bad I took him to the doc. The same fever virus that N had that settles into an ear infection, boo! After 32 hours back on antibiotics, L went back to school today. REWIND. J went to work late yesterday and I was able to fit in a run after visiting the kindergarten class and before he had to leave for work (remember L was home sick). That run was gloriously butt kicking! I came home, took a shower and then started my core exercises. I was sore this morning so I skipped my run and decided that all the walking around Legoland could by my “walk” for the day. Tomorrow, I run. I can’t wait!

Whilst sitting around the house taking care of a sick L, I cruised the internet and saw that some skirts were on sale at Running Skirts. I threw them into my basket and saw that there was free shipping available (miracle!) so I typed in the RunLove coupon code and ordered myself FOUR new running skirts. They came yesterday. I can’t wait to try them out! My first one will be tomorrow morning!!! Happy Mother’s Day to me!!!

After buying myself a fabulous Mother’s Day present I decided to check out the upcoming ATL races. I have decided that I am going to run a 5k, 10k and Half this year! I am planning to run the Dog Days 5k on 8/11/12. I will then hit the Big Peach Sizzler 10k over Labor Day weekend and then I will finish with the Grand Finale, the Atlanta Half Marathon on Thanksgiving Day. The ATL ½ is my debut half from last year and I can’t wait. I have some unfinished business with those hills. They are going to become my b!t(h and I can’t wait! I am also going to sign up for the Publix Georgia Half, which will be on St. Patrick’s Day in 2013; I’m thinking I might have to dress in costume?

Overall, it is shaping to be a fabulous year. I wasn’t even planning on running more than one race this year due to hubby’s work schedule but I am ready for the challenge!!

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and a Happy Mother’s Day to you!!!

Happy Running Y’all!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Me post run on Monday, it felt great!

Naked Run

Today I went for a run, naked, and it felt good. It was better than good it was amazing! (If you don’t know what naked running is, get your minds out of the gutter! No electronics. No music. No garmin. Just you and your running shoes.) Don’t get me wrong, it was butt kicking hard, but it was epic. My legs were heavy, my lungs struggled, it was muggy, it was spectacular! 

My first run in over two weeks and my sciatica didn’t hurt. I did stretch longer than usual and had a thorough icing. But back to my run. I have been dreaming of this run for over a week. Having a sick one at home, I have watched so much Star Wars, I’m an honorary padawan. Today I ran and I savored EVERY.SINGLE.STEP! The birds were my music, the sun was my garmin. 

Yes, I had L take my picture before getting on the bus this morning.

Today I ran, today’s a great day for running y’all!

Speed Work

Go check out this post from Gia about speed work. I have been wanting to incorporate speed work into my training, but my last few attempts have sucked horribly. Yes, I know I need to be running to get some speed work in. I'm hoping to hit the pavement tomorrow morning after dropping L at the bus stop, leaving sick N at home with daddy. Hubby goes to work at 10 tomorrow, so if I can get a decent night of sleep I will be lacing up my Asics.

I find this post simple and inspiring, I'm going to give it a try so I can build up to those Yasso 800's.

Happy Running y'all!

Wordless Wednesday

How I'm coping with no running and a sick boy...

...yes, my baby is still sick.