In Memoriam

Today I ran a virtual 5k race in memory of baby Ashlyn and my niece Kristin. It wasn't my easiest 5k, I didn't PR, I didn't find that elusive "runner's high". It was hard. I ran without music (by choice), it was raining and muggy, my legs were heavy and my asthma made it hard to breathe. I am glad it was hard. For those 29 minutes I thought of Ashlyn and Kristin. I thought of their Mommas. I cried for their loss.

I am a food allergy Momma, my older son, L, has a life threatening peanut allergy. Not a day goes by that I fear for his safety. If the phone rings during the school day, my heart skips a beat; wondering if it is the nurse calling with bad news. My biggest fear is losing my boys. My second biggest fear is not being able to watch them grow up. Courtney and Linda are my heroes! They have faced my fear and they are making this world a better place because of their loss.

As my legs felt like lead and were struggling to move, I wept for Courtney and her baby Ashlyn. How she would never watch Ashlyn crawl, walk, or run. As my lungs struggled to breathe up those hills today, I wept for Linda and her baby Kristin. My niece who I watched struggle for each breath in her bassinet. Ashlyn and Kristin may not be here on this earth running, but I can run for them! I can breathe for them and that's what I did on my run today!

~Phil 3:14